Laos - Adventures in Bakeries, Biking, and Bed Bugs 3/21/10 - 4/3/10

The boys were back in the United States and it was just me and Steff again. First order of business - sleep. We had to keep a fast pace since the boys were only in Thailand for the week , so we took a day in Bangkok to recover. Especially poor Steff who had caught a cold and lost her voice.

We took a sleeper train to Nong Khai, Thailand with a connecting shuttle across the Friendship Bridge into Vientiane, Laos. We saw that Laos tends to have a slightly different way of doing things as soon as we arrived. We didn't check into the country by standing in an orderly line, receiving our visa, then being stamped in. No no, their system is to gather up a train load of people, huddle them in a large group, have everyone hand over their passports at the same time, then leave them their confused as they shut the check-in window.

"She's coming back....right?"

One by one they would call out our names to come pick up our passports, then slam the window shut again. Everyone had that slight look of relief when they had their passports back from the mystery office.

Once we got our visas we split a van ride into town with a group of middle-aged Europeans. They were all super nice, and told us tales of some of their previous adventures. It's always so inspiring to meet life long travelers, and see that we don't have to stop seeing the world when we're no longer twenty-somethings.

We tried to get into a couple of guest houses that the Lonely Planet recommended, but were all full. We searched for cheap accommodations until we were officially too hot and tired to care anymore. We checked into the first place we found that was in our price range. We realized after checking in that the sheets had tiny little spots on them. Most likely blood stains. Most likely bed bugs. I will let you know right now that this was the only guest house in Vientiane that we were worried about getting bed bugs, and was the only guest house that we did not have bed bugs.

Vientiane is actually a really interesting city. Due to previous French colonization, it has lovely old French styled buildings and theaters. We liked this. Vientiane also has a plethora of spectacular French inspired bakeries on every corner. We loved this. Our favorite bakery being Joma Cafe, for four reasons:

1. It had very..very.. tasty baked goods.
2. It was close to the guest house.
3. It had free WiFi.
4. We kept reading it as "Jo Mama!" when we walked by, and that's just funny.

We became very close friends with Joma.


Vientiane is not only unique for its French architecture, but also the crowd of travelers it attracts. On most of our trip, we have mostly encountered other travelers in their 20's. However, while walking around we started noticing a slightly more mature crowd. No one seemed to be under the age of 45. We also noticed that this countries capital city felt more like a sleepy town than a center of activity. Food was the main attractions. Plenty of quiet upscale hotels. Bars close at 11:00. In fact, the only place open in town past 11:00 PM was... the bowling ally. Then we realized - we were in a middle aged paradise. It suddenly all made sense!

Our main destination while in Vientiane was the Buddha Park. This is a bizarre sculpture garden built by an artist that mainly combines Buddhism and Hinduism, but the park displayed images from those religions and everything in between. I think we even saw the three wise men making a cameo appearance. The cement sculptures were huge and fantastic and crazy and and and... I don't even know what! One building could be entered through a door way shaped like a mouth. Once inside you could walk around in a circle, down ladders to a dungeon, up ladders to a few other floors, and finally out to the roof. From the room we had a fantastic aerial view of the chaos below. Giant laying Buddhas, a merry-go-round like head and arms giving small creatures a ride, human sized animals, a very serious hamster, and a great warrior...battling with a enormous grasshopper. On the way out with met a young monk and helped him with his English pronunciation, as he read from his work book. It was really funny to hear him picking up a mix of our Midwestern/Southern American accents. We had the best time taking the most ridiculous pictures we could. You can look forward to Laying Buddha Megan and Steffany vs. Alligator.

We only stayed in Vientiane for two days before heading to the famous Vang Vieng. We heard it was a party town, but we had no idea we were going from a 60-year-old's paradise to a college freshman's paradise. This tiny town is filled with dirt cheap guest houses (ours was about $4 a night), bars, and restaurants. Most restaurants have tables where you lay back on pillows to watch TV playing endless loops of either The Simpsons, Family Guy, or Friends.. Cultural? Sophisticated? No. Enjoyable? Yes.

I don't want to paint a picture that this is just a wild party town. Vang Vieng also has a ton of out door activities. It's also one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. Gigantic green limestone cliffs jutting out into the sky surround the whole area. Farms line the roads, river, and tiny streams. The locals are some of the most quiet laid back people you will ever meet. Cats wonder in and out of the restaurants and shops. You're more likely to see a traffic jam of cows than cars. A lot of people say there's nothing to do in Vang Vieng but drink, which is compete nonsense. You're in a rich green paradise, go experience it.

Once Steff recovered from her cold a bit, we did what the town is famous for - tubing. On the way to the river we made friends with Alex and Dewi. Ex-businessmen, current world travelers, super nice guys. The goal of tubing is to make it all the way down the three mile stretch of river. I say "goal" because the first half is lined with river side bars calling out to you to come have a drink as you float past. This proves to be very distracting. The bar's charismatic hosts (Laos boys, that I would guess are no older than 10) throw out a rope and reel you in. Most of the bars offer free shots of Laos whiskey (bad idea), sell the famous buckets of alcohol (worse idea), then have some form of entertainment such as a swing, zip line, or water slide into the river (horrible idea). It makes me so happy that Laos has low enough safety standards to allow these kinds of activities to happen, because it was a lovely afternoon! While Steff was more a fan of the zip lines, I fell in love with the swings. For either, you needed to climb high up on a rickety ladder to a platform anchored in a tree, grab a hold of the handle, and either free fall down and woosh back and forth on the swing, or glide into the water on the zip line. If this isn't enough, body spray painting and mud wrestling/volleyball/tug-of-war are also popular activities on the river.

Is there anything better than watching the whitest white group of drunk, heart/star-nipple-painted, guys not understand when to let go of the zip line, and then be flung into the river like rag dolls?

No...No there isn't.

We played a game of volleyball with a group of drunk Norweigan boys.. One of whom was throwing up beside the court before we started playing. Normally, neither of us are big volleyball fans - but the alcohol really slows the game down, and takes away everyone's crazy competitive streak. If only I had known before, I could have spiked the gatorade and made my high school gym class much more enjoyable.

Once we got a bit passed the bars, we saw what tubing was more intended to be like. It was so peaceful and quiet. We were completely surrounded little meadows and the mountains towered above us. It felt like the color green was giving us a hug.

Do you even need to ask if two physically fit young backpackers were able to make it down an itty bitty little river by 6:00 PM? Please don't... because we didn't... We wimped out and took a tuk-tuk back. In our defense... It's the dry season so the current is pretty much nonexistent. We paddled with our flip flops down the river for over a mile. When we had both already exited the "this is fun" zone and were just cold, wet, tired, and realized we still had a long way to go... it was time to raise the white flag.

When we got back to town, we bumped into Alex, Dewi, and a British couple we met after getting separated from them in the river. I award Alex and Dewi gold stars for making it all the way down the river with out cheating. We all made plans to meet up later that night to hang out, rather than continue to stand soaking wet and freezing in the middle of the street.

Hot shower and a dress? It must be Christmas. I went down to meet up with the tubing gang while Steff decided to stay in, and have some quality Skype time with her boyfriend. I received my free bucket at The Bucket Bar (yes, that's really the name) and found my new friends - buckets in hand as well. The nice British couple had to leave early, so I spent most of the night with Alex and Dewi. We all shared our travel stories, love for running and biking, great things to do in New York and London (gay bingo with a drag queen announcer - awesome), and tales of marketing. After losing my voice from yelling over the music, I decided to take the hint and hit the dance floor.. I ended up meeting a guy from London and his friend who lives in New York and is from Pittsburgh! I would have never expected to be in the middle of Laos discussing the Steelers. It's a small world and all that good stuff.

Another great activity in Vang Vieng is kayaking. We signed up for a tour which started higher up on the river than tubing, and makes stops to see a few caves in the area. On the tuk-tuk ride there:

Me: "So do you know how to kayak?"
Steff: ::cheerfully:: "Of course, I grew up in Florida! I even have my kayaking girl scout badge."
Me: "..."
Steff: "Do you know how to kayak?"
Me: "Um... well.. I went once.. in high school... and kept crashing into the mangrove trees... I should have probably mentioned this before..."

(Shout out to Codie)

Steffany gave me a crash course on kayaking before we got in the river, with a slightly nervous look on her face.

As we are getting in the kayaks our guide asked us if we know how to swim. Right before walking up a hillside he asked if we had a problem with leeches. A bit late to be asking these types of questions, don't you think?

With Steff's excellent directions I wasn't the total kayak failure I thought I was! We made an excellent team, with out a harsh word between us. Steff had warned me that kayaking is known to spark fights and end relationships. We did a spectacular job the whole afternoon. Ok, so we crashed once... But one time isn't so bad, right?

Using paddles to push ourselves down the river was much preferable to flip flops. It was very quiet and relaxing with the only sound being the splash of our paddles. We made three stops on our kayak tour: a small trek up to a cave in the hills, the organic farm, and another cave just off of the river.

You should have seen Steff's nervous face reappear when our guide said we would be taking a short trek to the first cave. It turned out to be just fine though. We went at a nice easy pace, it wasn't a long walk, our guide made sure we were ok, we stopped to take several breaks, and he pointed things out along the way.

Steff: "It was like he reached into my mind for everything I hated about the Chiang Mai trek... and fixed it!"

I don't know what it is, but being inside of a cave is just really cool.

We took a break for a fantastic bamboo grilled skewer lunch on the riverside while watching the bright pink and green butterflies.

Steff: "I'm going to go frolic among the butterflies. I'll be right back."

The organic farm was really neat. We fed the goats, explored the farms, had tea, and sampled what Laos is known for - mulberries! For all you Farmville kids, we even saw a durian tree.

The last cave was the only down side about the afternoon. Yes, the walk was scenic and lovely. Yes, the cave was really cool and interesting. The problem? Swarms of mosquitoes... Mosquitoes that only attacked me and Steff. I'm not joking or exaggerating. The other tow girls we were with and our guide did not get one bite, and Steff and I were covered! We first encountered them right outside the cave. This turned into a scene from a sitcom. Steff and I were flailing around swatting at bugs, scratching, twitching, and frantically looking for the tiny attackers. This is all happening while our guide... is calmly talking about the history of the cave, pointing out an interesting leaf, etc. Not one bite on him. Not seeming noticing the act of physical comedy Steff and I are performing before him. I really wanted to hear the fun facts about the cave but my thought was only:

"Shut up! For the love of god, shut up and let us in the cave!!!"

We went inside - ahh, relief!

We were attacked again near the kayaks while the guide talked to the other two girls.!


"Sorry we can't take it any more, we'll meet you on the river!"

Steff and I ran to the kayaks, and into the river, while I dumped river water on the huge welts to ease the itching.

We ended the day on a high note. Spinning the kayaks in circles for fun, and taking pictures on the riverside. We took a group picture with one of the other river guides.

Guide: "Now let's take one American style!"
Me and Steff: "American style?"

This meant posed with our arm around the next person. I had no idea this was an "American" thing! He explained that in Laos you would really only put your arm around a very close friend, as strong displays of affection are discouraged.

Possibly my favorite activity in Laos is biking. I paid the 10,000 Kip ($1) rental fee, and went to explore the area a few times. On our last day Steff joined me, and we set out to find one of the other caves in town. We stopped when we saw a sign for the cave pointing to the right.

"But that can't be correct. It's pointing into that farm."

Then we saw other bike tire tracks going in...

This lead us on the most bumpy ride of our lives on a dirt path, through a farm, dodging cows, zig zagging around crops, uphills, downhills, over bamboo bridges, rocks, sand, dirt, gravel, river..... Made it!

It was so worth it! This cave was way better than the ones we saw on the kayaking tour. We got to climb over huge rocks and crawl through tiny passage ways into different sections of the cave. Large glittering stalactites clung to the ceiling. Freakiest thing: one stalactite in the back of the cave looked exactly like Jesus, or random bearded man. Not a little bit - a lot a bit. Not just from faraway, but even more when you get up close. Scary.

The best part about this cave was the small lagoon inside. We got into the tubes they had down there and floated around in what felt like the center of the earth. Center of the earth shadow puppets = good times.

The rest of the bike ride was fantastic. I would recommend going to Laos, if for no other reason, to go biking in the late afternoon/evening to see the warm light casting a million little shadows on the mountains and country side. It's the kind of beautiful you stop and try so hard to burn into your memory forever.

After a week of outdoor adventures, terribly bad-for-you but terribly good street food, huge amounts of night time coma TV watching, and a few new friends made - it was time to pack up our belongings that had exploded all over the room, and head out.

We needed to go to Bangkok to catch our flight to Japan via: tuk-tuk, bus, another bus, shuttle car, tuk-tuk, and train.

Between the "bus" and "another bus", we had a stop over for the night in Vientiane. This proved to be one of the worst nights ever. We found out some things were stolen out of Steff's bag (curse you king VIP bus!), and remember that I mentioned how we tried to get into the highly recommended guesthouses? Our top choice was, Mixok, described as"clean and tidy." Yeah... We thought we had a victory when we were able to get a room there. Until we climbed up the staircase of death and turned into a bed bug snack that night. Actually bed bug "all you can eat buffet" would be more accurate. I didn't sleep well, and Steff barely slept at all. At one point she said I must have been having a nightmare, kicked my feet like a puppy, whimpered, then turned over. That's a bad night.

Our floor had two bathrooms. We had our choice of broken cracked mirror, no mirror. Unidentifiable-stained toilet or (unfortunately) identifiable-stained toilet. Both came with one giant step to get inside, that you are guaranteed to forget about as you plummet into the hallway and death stairs. The icing on he cake being a sign that read:

"Do not throw the soap. Or make the dirty in sink"

...What?

We have stayed at some pretty grungy bug infested places - you kind of need to be ready for that on a back packing trip. We had no problem with that. However, this was our only big encounter with bed bugs (the only other time was at another hostel in Vientiane, but I only got a few bites). Big encounter meaning our hands and feet were completely covered in bites, with scattered clusters on he rest of our body. Tragic? No. But quite annoying. Um, at least I'm used to being covered in mosquito bites to prepare me for this? Bright side?

The next day we fled from Mixok and left for Nong Khai. We saw the other Buddha Park that was larger, and quite possibly more surreal, than the first one we saw in Laos. Great day. Bad night. A combination of mind destroying itching, heat, and a squeaky fan kept us up most of the night on the sleeper train. No sooner did we fall asleep we were awakened by a way to chipper train employee, and shoved off the train into Bangkok.

I almost feel bad for the mean, evil, murderous profanity laced thoughts I had toward the protesters who blocked the streets making it impossible for our cab driver to take us all the way to Rambuttri Road.. We walked past the Democracy Monument the Red Shirt Protesters had taken over and covered in red fabric. This would would have been a great photo opportunity, if I had had the energy to get out my camera - Google it. We realized we were going the wrong way. Walked past the protest and armed riot police reading the paper and drinking coffee again... Finally, we arrived at our former Bangkok home - the My House guest house.

We set up camp in their restaurant downstairs. Sorted out our bug infested laundry - in the restaurant. We covered our blistered, seeping, bug bites in tiger balm... in the restaurant. Then stayed there until our laundry was done, and we could go to the airport.

Me: "Should we be doing all this in here?"

Steff: ::points to the one other person there: a guy passed out, from the night before, on a pile of pillows:: "I don't think we're bothering anyone."

Me: "Touché"

We. were. complete. train wrecks.


We've heard all of the bed bug horror stories, about how hard hey are to get rid of, and how they can stay in your belongings for a long time. I'm very happy to say we were lucky, and after just washing our clothes we managed to get rid of them - it could have been much worse.

After getting tiger balm, doing laundry, and resting at My House, we felt a bit better. We said a final goodbye to Thailand. Because of he protests, we were stopped several times on he way to the airport so the Thai riot control, police, and army could say their goodbyes too! How sweet of them.

Next adventure: Japan!


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